10 TYPES OF PUBG PLAYERS IN EVERY SQUAD

Pubg has been proven to be a huge blessing for all the gamers and the geeks. All the introverts who have always wanted to kill humans (IRL), have finally found a perfect platform! Further more, this is the only area with a wide range of scope (Pun intended). Being a gamer myself, I've come across a wide range of douche bags and their plays. In a few situations, you intend to kill your team mate before you kill anybody else. Why? Nope, not for the kills or the loot. (Duh! Who am I kidding?) But also, for all the acts they do to prove their peak of stupidity and non-cooperation.
Perhaps, I've categoriesed such mates into the following types. I'm quite sure that if you play pubg in a squad, you would've come across such people too.

1. THE LINGERER
(Also called as lagging) Every squad has a teammate who eventually freezes in the middle of the game while your ice cream is Melting. These kind of players experience the most amount of teleportation and early deaths. "Th...e c...cau...se of my de....death w..as lagging" - Should be declared as the international excuse for the deaths occurred in any battle royale game as it is used by each & every player who has ever played pubg and died. Catch a break already!

2. THE LONE DOG
There's always that one person in the squad who demands and eventually decides to land seperately from other teammates and uselessly cries for help when get's knocked down. Hello from the other side! And like krewella once quoted "didn't they tell you a view is good from the sideline". Plays solo in a squad. There's always an "i' in the "tieam" indeed.

3. THE CORRESPONDENCE EXTREMIST
Sounds like a superhero? Well, it's not! The correspondence extremist kind of players burn the hell out of your ears and annoys the shit out of you through the tiny texts spoken by a woman's voice. Cries for "help!" while watching an enemy die. Asks to "turn on voice chat!" But never turns it on himself. Order to go into the safe zone while himself dies in the storm. "Impressive!". Is it? No, it's not!

4. THE GOD'S EYE
After his death, this player doesn't leave the back of his team. Disturbs the hell out of the other teammates by making suspicion-warnings. Gets stuck like a slime and directs the players inorder to throw a chicken dinner! (But sometimes mainly with the motive of getting the other teammates killed so that they could start another game asap). Like the chainsmokers said, "if we go down then we go down together."

5. THE HARDCORE PILLAGER
The solo motto of such teammates is to as many ammos as they can. To share? Well, partly yes. To show off? HELL YES! This type of players probably achieve marathon man as they're the first people to loot as soon as their teammates kill someone. Impressive! Such type can be easily compared to the character of Moose Finbar from jumanji. Got everything packed in the bag pack and ready for a picnic! I swear, a level 3 bagpack is a divine for the hardcore pillagers. A piece of advice, if you ever get annoyed by such a teammate who refuses to share his/her ammos, kindly blow 'em up with a grenade. I bet you wouldn't regret.

6. THE PRUDENT CIRCUMSPECT
The prudent circumspect aka that one man army who gets the MVP with the most of kills and throws a chicken dinner for all of his teammates. He is a slinger! A huge shout out to you guys! P.S even this kind contains some of the above stated qualities of the list. Nobody is perfect.

7. THE WORST ARCHER
This buddy is somehow gifted to have the worst aim ever! There's an enemy right beside the tree, why are you shooting the rock, bruh? You don't need a scope. You need an eye indeed!

8. THE COMMENTATOR
The commentator is that annoying player who does the commentary of every single supply he picks up. From a pistol to the third level military vest to the number of kills he has accomplished to the exact way how his game is lagging to anybody who isn't responding mainly because they've turned off their speakers.

9. THE RECKLESS MASTER
The reckless master usually wonders around the map, runs a marathon, is hungry for the supply drop all in the land of the-you-can-be-dead-anytime.

10. THE PERFECT LANDER
The perfect lander has an extraordinary skill of jumping off the plane, skydiving and landing on that perfect corner without having to run shamelessly without carrying any weapons.

Now, go and start roasting your teammates already!

A DAY AT SUPERMARKET

You know the day of the month where all of a sudden there's a pain in your belly and a minor ache in your head & you get nauseous!? Well, I'm not really talking about the day of the month wherein you find out that you ain't pregnant. There's that. But, just like periods, there's a day in every month where you set yourself on a small trip, not less an adventure with your mum to THE SUPERMARKET. There are mixed feelings running up on your mind. You ain't sure whether you should be sad because you're going to get exploited with all "driving" the trolley over & over again or happy because you'd get to buy lot of cheese & chocolates! Supermarket is like the destination of dreams & and nightmares. Because, firstly, there's food. Secondly, it's full of mothers & with a bossy minds for then.

The day at supermarket probably marks the only day in the whole month where you make yourself useful. Because hey! Riding a trolley ain't no job of a kid. *Eye rolls* Apparently, it is. Being a child of your mother, it's your birth right to take the charge of the trolley. You are probably given birth to do that. Don't believe me? Observe sometimes. There would be minimum age limit between you and the guy/girl holding a trolley, the guy/girl walking his/her trolley towards the spice section, the guy/girl with a trolley standing beside the guy/girl with a trolley beside you. Yeah! It's all a loop. 

Mark my words, the day you visit a supermarket is the same day, the whole population of the country decides to shop in. The. Same. Supermarket. And everyone decides to go to the same aisle as you go. Then occurs the riots! Collisions between two trolleys is no less than the collision of titanic with an ice berg. Untangling the wheels is no less than untangling your earphones when you take those out of your pockets. And if you refuse or ignore  the person behind your back with a trolley regarding them "excusing" you to get aside. You're blessed with curse and a hit on your ass.  It's ever pathetic when kids have the trolleys. I'm like "yo mama! Your kid is too young for such a huge responsibility." If and only the mothers listen to my inner voice and deny their kids from getting the hold of the trolleys. They start shedding tears at the top of their voice! Never goes a day whereby a kid doesn't cries in a supermarket. Sometimes, it's like a competition held between them regarding who cries the most & the loudest. 

Kids aren't the worst part of the supermarket. The worst part of a supermarket is *drum rolls*. Hold up! Lemme look for my mum! She was just in front of my eyes! She's gone! Where's she! How can she leave me alone? "Honey, I shrunk your mom?" She was right there! She's gone. Wtf. How am I supposed to find her in this place filled with holy cow number of humans! Am I supposed to show a picture of my mother to the people and ask if they've seen her nearby? And I set a journey on "finding mom-o". I take a couple of rounds throughout the supermarket and I find her no where. Holy shit! The third time I find her, she's deciding the brand of spices which needs to be purchased. I swear, she wasn't there the second time I came to the place to find her. Plus it takes forever to travel from one aisle to another. Like I said, it is a loop! Literally. No sooner you realise that the weight in your trolley has almost gotten double than your weight. Unless, you're me. That's another word for a potato- shaped person. And, you're exploited for the labour for the day. 

However, when you get to choose your personal food (snacks which is no-one allowed to see or touch), that thing is worth than all of the shit you've experienced in that place. I mean it's like a drop of water for a thirst person, wage for the day for a labour, a ray of hope for a person who had lost all of it.

Furthermore, when one try to reach the cash counter. There's already a laarrrgggeee queue. I mean, one couldn't guess whether it's a supermarket or a government office. The employee at the cash counter is lazier than a koala and suddenly you get too much interest in the moving hands of your watch with an upsetting frowning face. Coincidentally, it's your bad luck if there occurs to be a fight between a bunch of customers regarding who kicked whose ass. As in, who run their trolleys into whose ass & blah blah. Your luck's even more bad when coincidentally, you run into a "known" person and he/she asks what the hell were you doing here. And you're like, "Hey, I, uh ,actually, I came to get my hair done. But in middle of everything, I lost my mum, got my arse bumped, watched a WWE, judged a who-cries-the loudest competition and what not. Okay. Bye." Throughout the small talk, the cash counter guy/girl hasn't completed deciding whether the cash given to 'em are real or clones. Gandhi's head is properly shaved, now effing get my transaction under process. I got a life to live! "So here goes your 200₹ cash, a 5₹ coin, and two melodies. Have a great day ma'am." Indians, you know!

Love. Laugh. Live. :)