BACK TO SCHOOL

School life is long and tiring. Most expertise spend half of their life in education. Out of which, half of the half of their life(school life) is spend on learning something which effing makes no sense. In short, subjects we studied during our school days are *drum rolls* U.s.e.l.e.s.s. I mean c'mon! Instead of teaching how to pay taxes, or facing social gatherings/activities, pay online purchases blah blah we're been taught that "MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL" Duh, sounds too important meh, I'd better contact mitochondria if I need to tackle a problem. "Hello, mitochondria, can you lend me some power from your house? I need to overcome my depression." So here lies a few subject which taught us something but nothing during our school days!

1. HISTORY
Mughal empire, Tughlaq Dynasty, etc. empire rose, ruled & declined. Okay, now, what am I supposed to do with that information? Forcefully learn that even after knowing it won't help anywhere in future & because I have to appear for exams and get into college? Hell yes! That's exactly what I'm gonna do! *Palm face*

2. MATHS
I'm quite young, but guess what, my mum has almost hit half century of her life and yet she hasn't used a formula or any algebraic expressions. The only time she has used her algebraic skills is while teaching me to algebra. LOL. This is how one torch passes to another! Well, a ∆ has 3 sides, so does my love life. A line as 2 points, and I have none while arguing.
P.S. I still take help of my 10 fingers, a calculator, a pen and a piece of paper while diving the bill money amongst my mates in a restaurant.
ab²+abc+bc²≠Life

3. ENGLISH
English is not only a language, but it is a subject itself. Words being divided into various categories and further divided into more categories is the reason why I prefer to stay quite! How is sorting out of various words under the category of pronouns, nouns, conjunctions, prepositions, exclamation help one to pronounce it better? Usually the English teachers are the most philosophical of all the teachers. They play with children's mind! Like an illusion. For example.If the writer mentions how dark the night was, the teacher would assume in the depth various possibilities why the night was dark. The writer ,in real, meant to say that the night was effing dark. That's it. It's probably 'cause some planet named Earth rotates and moon has phases just like mood swings!

4.Biology
I never understood why schools make lil' children dissect the bodies of cockroaches, earthworms and rats. What are they aspiring to be? An insect vet? A doctor of reptiles? You know what, cockroaches have around 60 hearts. This means they have so many substitutes for their one broken heart! Whoa. Orrrr maybe all their hearts break at once?!. Deep. The most awkward, "funny" & weird acceptance of a concept was the chapter of reproduction. *Grins*

5. PHYSICS
Newton and Einstein would be burning in hell, isn't it? How is information regarding the gravity help in earning money and respect Lol? I still blame that fallen apple for the misery of most of the science students! Or maybe the gravity itself! *Grins*

6. Chemistry
Green color+ red color=brown
I wish Walter White was my chemistry teacher. Blue crystals would've made me rich already. Duh! (with reference to Breaking Bad tv series)

7. GEOGRAPHY
Being a Wanderlust, I actually liked geography and discovering various places. But I am currently too broke to wander around the universe. Me liking geography kindly doesn't includes measuring distance on a piece of paper through a peice of thread, ruler& divider.

I guess not other subjects left to mock about. Lol. Thought there are effing Absence of so many uses in the various subjects, but still they are unique on their own!
GRACIAS!
APOLOGIES~
LOVE. LAUGH. LIVE :)

TYPES OF STUDENTS

Life is a lesson which we never stop learning! Duh. As the earlier blog was about teachers, well, students deserves to be mocked too. Irony! Well, I am one of 'em. Just like the flavours of ice-cream, there are flavours of a class which are enumerated by the students. Well, each class contains beats and the angels. Favourites and the hated. Lovers and the singles. Nerds and the hipsters. Here are a few types of students found in our day-to-day lives:

1. GEEKS/NERDS
These types of students usually wear fat glasses and always carry a book where ever they go (Ain't sure about the bathrooms). Their world revolves just around books and notes and books and wait.....the notes! They're probably the best source of the projects and assignments! These nerds are usually found at the front-est row of the benches. Easy to rag, every book in the bag!

2. TECHNO-TEXTERS
To all the students caught texting during the lectures, ever wondered how? Well, nobody keeps smiling randomly looking at their crotches throughout the period. FYI, teachers know that. Well, these kinda students' camera rolls are filled with pictures of notes' pages rather than their selfies. Notices written on the boards are oftenly captured and found in the camera rolls of the phones.

3. SLEEPYHEADS
They don't care whether there is a terrorist attack going on in the institute or "mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell". All they care about is sleep. The experts don't usually get caught taking a nap. But the ones, who get caught, are wished "good morning" and thrown out of the class(which they misunderstand as their bedroom).

4. PROCRASTINATORS
Well, these kind of students not only procrastinate themselves from reaching the institution on time, but also procrastinate their projects/homework/assignments. They shoot the teachers with mashallah reasons! According to their reasoning information, half of his relatives are dead. Some are dead twice! But the teachers don't really focus on the number of imaginary deaths.

5. BACK BENCHERS
The area of most mischievous students in the class! They're mostly, probably always in the hitlists of the teachers. These guys have amazing talents such as eating during the lecture without anyone knowing about it, producing the exact voice of various wild animals and birds etc. Back benchers are usually hipsters of the class. But it's a known fact that thought they don't make the required notes, yet they make memories worth the life time!

6. BUNKERS
When these students attend a lecture, the whole class would be like "are you a new admission?" They have no idea what the hell is going on in this class. Well, a group of mass bunkers can cancel the lectures for the whole day by planning a mass bunking(or initiating lectures with less than the required quorum). Tbh, sometimes, I'm really thankful for them!

7. DAYDREAMERS and DOODLERS
These kind of students are physically present in the class, but mentally visiting Paris, skydiving in Spain, swimming in the Arctic, hiking at the Himalayas, making out with their celeb crush, planning how will they save the institution when it'll get attacked by the zombies or terrorists, *staring at the fan* if it falls, then who will be crushed under it?! Etcetera. The doodlers of their creative mind can be seen on the last few pages of the notebook!

No matter where, what, how and when, memories are created at the every corner of the class!

No offense, mates.

Thank you!

~Apologies~

Love. Laugh. Live. Keep creating memories!

TYPES OF TEACHERS

We all have seen different kind of teachers since our kindergarten times. Some are cool and friendly, whether others are uncool and unfriendly. Some make you feel dreamy(that you fell asleep) and some makes your day not less than a nightmare where you're sorta not even allowed to blink!?Well, some teachers are named after great leaders such as Hitlers viz. And others are named after cartoon characters (depends on their behaviour) Here are a few types of 'em!

*1. BIOGRAPHICAL*
Few teachers, don't know how, they get distracted with their actual subjects. And they start speaking about their very personal life, experiences, achievements, incidents, then even the red signal can't effing stop 'em. Like a few mins ago, teacher was talking about Correspondence, and suddenly she's sharing her stuffs about trip in Thailand!(Thai massages, Thai food etc). These kind of teachers talk too much about their personal life. I mean who cares? But still all the students "seem" to be goddamn interested, only because the period is getting wasted! Partyyyy!!!!

*2. THE I-AM-SAINTS*
These teachers sees themselves as the saviour of the people sitting in a classroom. We're studying math, and suddenly there's a lot of melodrama and emotional-kinky kinda thing in the air! These kinda teachers believe in teaching "life lessons" rather than the actual subjects. Full of reathorical appeal and throws unnecessary lectures on efforts and future.
Boom!boom!Aah!

*3. THE ROBOTS*
Just imagine teachers, rolling on treads and scanning retinas for attendance and using powerful lasers during lectures. How cool would that be!? But nah, here we ain'tf talking about the real robots. Here, we're talking about the teacher robots! Well, these kind of teachers do what they're paid for. Well, teach. Obviously! Some teachers annoy the whole class with their incredible monotonous voice and makes everyone in the class sleepy. They can probably win a award for making people bored during their lectures. Well, this is probably one of the major reason behind low attendance during the lecture!
Duh!

*4. TMIs*
Too-Much-Information than one is capable of! "TMI" kind of teachers gives knowledge of the world but not of the related subjects. They mockings, gossips, rumours to talk about. But not even a drop from the related matter. They spent the allotted time in giving mostly not-required knowledge. Just before the dawn of the exams, these devils take extra lectures blaming that the students are responsible for wasting the time of the class. Duh! *rolls eyes*

*5. THE DISCIPLINERIAN*
The dusters of these teachers, speak louder than their words! Every effing student should act like a dumb-but-ain't-deaf human in the class. They proceed the class noting that no one will speak during the lecture and ends up thinking why the no one answers ever! These sort of teachers are difficult to approach, discouraging & overly critical. Also, blackmailing! "Well, remember you all, I've got your addresses and parents' phone numbers!"(I mean so? So what? Are you forcing us to invite you for a tea, miss or mister Hitler!) "One-call, and they have a be here!" (Okay, everybody on this planet is not the flash,yo)

*6. SLEEPING BEASTS*
These kind of teachers may or may not be married. But they have an extraordinary relationship with sleep. They may or may not carry books to the class, but sleep is always a MUST! They're the sleeping beasts. They don't care about the surrounding. All they care about is sleep. I guess I'm talking too much about sleep that I'm just trying not to doze off! *Yawns*

P.S if teachers think that sending out/removing out the students from the class is a punishment. Well, it is not! (Shared through personal experience)

Thank you.

~Apologies~

Love.Laugh.Live.Respect!

INDIAN TELEVISION ADVERTISEMENTS

Advertisements are like gujju people. We are surrounded by them.(I apologize to all my gujju friends who are reading this)
But yes, wherever i go, I may or may not find a washroom to satisfy my urgency. But a glimpse of advertisement is a MUST!
I don't really know how many minutes of my life I might've wasted on those ads which come prior a YouTube video. *rolls eyes*
There are many kind of advertisements, one of them is the one on televisions!
Advertisements on television sucks!
I've literally decreased watching TV due to this cause-ADVERTISEMENTS.
Advertisements can be perfectly described using the following phrase:
"Kebab Mein Haddi."
I am not really good at maths though, but when I watch a movie or a show(exceeding 1 hour or so), almost half of the time is consumed by the effing advertisements!
Some of the shows (especially- the reality & award ones) misuse advertisements. So it goes this way-
"Who's gonna win the show?"
*Heart beat -background music runs for 2 mins*
*Makes Maggie*
*Eats it*
"We'll be right back after this short break. Stay tuned!"
I mean W T F.
Take the cap of the bottle if the nearest bottle  put a t-spoon of water and just die! Chullu bhar paani mein doob ke marr jao!
That's exactly what I would like to say to those Mofos!
There are some good kinda ads(educational) whereas someone are LAME AF!

Okay, so, when the advertisements of beauty products arrive,(such as fair&lovely & lux soap)there's a sudden increase in the brightness of the television. Sometimes I couldn't differentiate which one is glowing better, the tube light of my house or the face of the heroine advertising the beauty product.
There's a long list of 'em.

Can one not eat a chocolate bar without spreading it all over their mouth and fingers? When's the best time to eat a chocolate bar? Puppet show! This thing gets me an arrow in the heart.(not by Cupid)

Why do we see girls in the ads achieve everything while they are on their periods??

A paint/cement can save a house from the nature's extreme behaviour. Well, like they show in the ads, it seems as if it's end of the world?!

One definitely needs to ride a bike on water,fly over the helicopter on the sea just to fill the stock of a soft drink which is always out of stock! *slow claps*

Do you have salt in your toothpaste? Well, if yes, then add some egg and onion and simultaneously have your breakfast while brushing. Sounds good?
Warning:- Always keep your door closed while brushing because a reporter can appear in the bathroom without any prior notice and you'll have to face the above situation!

Gotta keep your toilets clean 24×7. Because a reporter can knock at your door anytime to endorse their phenyl brand and say why their brand is better than just acids. *rolls eyes*

Ah! Mother's nowadays just looooove washing their kid's clothe every now and then. They're just waiting for their kids to arrive with dirty clothes. Isn't it?

No need of hard work when you can read the seven skies(buy city, companies, luxurious cars) just by eating some kinda paan-masala. Well, good luck!

Be careful on the roads, there can be gems shower anytime and anywhere.
Well, grandpa's are so strong nowadays that they would try to trade their "panda" with others, and if others deny, BREAK THAT WAY AND RUN THE SHIT OUTTA HOUSE. STEEL IT!RUUNNNNNN

Well, deo and perfume/scent advertisements..... Don't take me there!
~Effects of deo ads~
Me: What's up, dude? Kya chal raha hai?
Person: Fogg chal raha hai aur kya?
*Already thinking ways to kill him/her*
Me: Chullu bhar paani mein doob maro!

Adios!

Thank yo!

Love. Laugh. Live!

Ice cold, I roll my eyes at you advertisements.

INDIAN DAILY SOAP & THEIR TYPES

"You said your mother only smiled on her TV shows." (colors by Halsey)

I remember, myself growing up watching typical Indian daily soap operas. Like, I was so addicted to them! I used to never miss an episode of those. When I was a child I used to find those dramas, background music with black and white pause(for a sec during the scenes where the characters have to act shocked)weirdly amazing. I guess we all have went through this phase. Isn't it? (Say yes!?!) When a character used to come back from dead. That used to literally be a jaw-dropping  moment for me and my serial-buddies-my mom and grandmom. I am quite a grown up now, and that's why I'm not going to embarrass myself by mentioning the names of the shows that I used to watch. It's really really awkward and lame.

TV industry has made a progress in a positive way, as well in a lame way!
Hollywood TV-series, produces a season of a particular show every year or so. Whereas, Indian TV series is on air every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, season, year, era, century?
Even after I'm dead, the show would be celebrating it's infinite episodes...Uff!
Basically, each channel runs their own type of TV-show!

1. *Fictional Shows*
Some channels run UNBELIVABLE shows which contains super heroes/kids saving the world, offering chocolates from the sky etc,(tasty!) But some shows are like, "Okay, I'm a snake now. Oh now, I'm a human. I am snake+human. And I have a friend who is a ghoose,(I guess) well, I guess he's my enemy too." I seriously get one of the biggest jerk in my life when they get renewed to a new season. (WTF)

2. *Reality/Non-fictional Shows*
"Okay, we're gonna dump a few unfamous-celebrities in a grand house, do someone random shit with them. Let them do some shit with each other. Get it hosted by a famous person and earn money" - (In short) But someone reality shows really help or give them a chance to extremely talented people from the corners of the country/world to potray their passion and talent on a grand stage! That's amazing.(Doesn't include Roadies :P)
FYI, I don't like cooking competition shows. 'Cause judging such beautiful, luring food PISSES ME OFF! -_-

3. *Comedy shows*
Oh well, these are MY favourite kind of shows. Obviously, everyone's!(I hope). I love laughing myself and I also love to make others laugh. So, these kind of shows are made to save your day. They effing cheer you up everytime. They're like saviours! They're the type which can be watched randomly. Like while having food etc.

4. *Horror Shows*
Nooooo! Nope! These absolutely CANNOT be watched during eating food.(Or else, be ready to have a vision "foodfall" in your sink) I really find these funny. I don't know why. But surely, I get afraid if those bloody ghosts who have white eyes with just the eye ball with one black dot. All they show is blood(Lol! Blood reminded me of GOT)
Honestly, characters in a horror show or movies are dumb! They're dumber than the dumbest. They would've been alive if followed my direction or listened to my suggestions and then made choices. Sick people! *Rolls eyes* But in the end, horror is my one of the favourite genre.

5. *Suspense/Crime based shows*
These are my second favorite genre! Sher-locked! But we're talking about Indian daily soaps,so.....NAAH The number of cases CID had solved, I guess it's double or triple than the actual number of crimes occurred in our country. Other crime shows which TRIES to make the citizens alert & aware. They end up making people scared the shit outta 'em and doubting their own homies & folks. But sometimes they do show episodes based on true stories!

6. *Romantic/Family shows*
I quite like the background music of these type of shows! Most of the stories go this way: They meet, fall in love, get married, have children(In between, many hurdles arrives. But they fight like a hero) Then umm, their children fell in love, gets married, have children, their children grow up(But still the hair of their grandparents are still black as mine and looks quie younger than their parents).
Some types of shows are effing immortal like ME. Ugh.
I hope to have banned some of the channels one day! I wish Indian soal operas to get inspired by Hollywood shows and get something good outta it! ;)
THANK YOU for your precious time. :)
I know I write as well as speak a lot!
Love. Laugh. Live!

~MUSIC KEEPS ME GOING~

MUSIC spelled backwards as "cisum", doesn't make any sense? No, it doesn't obviously, just like other's opinion. Well, that is exactly what I feel when I listen to music. Peace. Carefree. I am a big fan of music. Well each one has their own tastes in music just like they have in food *rolls eyes* (I don't mind saying that hey, you! I have good taste in both of 'em-Music & food!) Okay now the words such as " taste" & "food" got those 'lil rats awake, inside my tummy. Ugh. Anyway, so, Music.
I'm an audiophile (scientifically termed) or some people call it as "musicholic". Well, sometimes I feel tunes, edm running through, as the blood happily carries them all over my body. You need an occasion to celebrate festivals like Diwali, holi, Navratri etc. But you don't really need an occasion to listen to music. Ah! Lame. There are types of music too! In fact of having types, each song/music has it's own beauty and speciality, just like YOU. Just like the person reading this right now! :)
I'm a big fan of Rock and edm music (includes Hollywood as well as Bollywood) You know, it's like I CAN'T STOP THE FEELING, SO JUST DANCE, DANCE & DANCE!��When I listen to loud music, it gets me groooooooving. You might obviously WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE DANCING BLIND! These kinda songs/music helps you to feel no more alone when you're lonely.
Believe me, when I'm home alone...I definitely give my neighbours some good taste in music ka Gyaan��
Low/sad songs & music aren't made for me.
Though I'm almost a 21st century kid. I'm a grand fan of old Bollywood songs. I've got some of them on my mind to lips. It's like, sometimes I feel I had learnt those in my past birth and it got carried forward to my present life. Just imagine.
Music and songs are versatile in their own way!
Happy? Music.
Sad? Music.
Wild? Music.
Had a breakup? Music.
Doing effing maths? MUSIC!
You see? No, you listen to music! Nah, but you're reading my words. Ah. Lame! So,music is the answer of every question. (Not exactly "every", 'cause music ain't the powerhouse of the cell. It's mitochondria) Lol
Music acts as a bandage or a "heal" to your wounds... It's like an antiseptic cream. But even bandaids don't fix bullet holes?! I guess. It helps you during your dark times,
you could always find the bright side.
I'm amazed by the things you would sacrifice
just to be there for me
(Sorry, I just got carried away by Ellie's "army")

If you have some music with sick beats in your mind, just suggest me some, dude!

And...That is a wrap!
Thank you!
Love. Laugh. Live. Music!

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

Well, I welcome myself to my first blog in forever. Okay, so 'cause of the fact that this is my first blog and I'm gonna keep it simple and boring too (maybe) I'm gonna talk about *Types of relationship*

Honestly, RELATIONSHIPS SUCK!(except the 5. One) I'm not stating this because I've never been in on all my life; Yup! That's right! N E V E R. Never-ever. I'm stating this because I've seen shows & people & movies & stories. All they end up is dyyyyying (technically, if one gets his/her heart broken, how is his/her arota gonna help him/her in pumping blood and biology stuffs) Biology sucks. Anyways I've not been in any relationships but I've seen around people & shows & movies & stories & stuff.

1. *Long-distant relationships*
Usually these kinds of relationships are built on social medias or if we talk about "history" (History sucks too!) Letters & stuffs. Just image. Okay, so these kind of couples stay in the corners of the world opposite to each other. That's sad. They wait & wait & wait. Oh! The waiter brought my food. Awaited. Their hope lies in the distance!

2. *Friends with benefits*
I know, Alright! I'm a 'lil/ too young to know about these stuffs. But I do!(I am not a hipster though)Okay, so, these kinda "friends" build their relationship for the sake of wants & desires. They don't really seem to have a destination but they still decide to row the boat! Guys, mistakes cannot rewind and so can't "sorry" rewind the situation. Ah! Lame.

3. *High-School love*
Awww! That sounds so cute. These kind of relationships develop during teens. Nope, I still didn't had one! You know when you start having hormonal changes and blah blah (Science sucks) you fell in "love" (spelled backwards "evol". Drew inspiration from Eminem. Eminem rocks!)These sort of couples when get out of their school after graduation, their love evaporates in the air. Most of 'em break up. And others too....break up *rolls eyes * No, but some high-school relationships turns into a wonderful knot of love. Marriage!

4. *Serious Relationships*
All I end up during serious moments is...laughing. Are there any kinda "funny relationships" too? These types are typical #RelationshipGoals I can't believe I'm saying this, but these kind of relationships have destinations. The car maybe go through different problems such as Bursting if tyres, emptying of petrol tank, engine diffuse etc in the middle of their way! These relationships have bond, just like molecules and atoms. They're tiny. They're cute. They're strong. Ugh.
Moving onto another time of relationships. I don't like serious. I'm funny!

5. *No name*
There are some kinda relationships, which cannot be named. These kinds relationships surely stays forever. The love/bond of a mother and her child. The love/bond of friends/best friends This is my favourite kind of relationship❤

I still say, RELATIONSHIPS SUCKS. Except for the last one.

Thank you.

Apologies.

You're welcome!

Love. Laugh. Live!